Do you ever have those days...
the kind when life stands still and you reflect?
I don't have them every day, but once in a while time seems to pause, if only for a moment.
This was Bug this morning before she went into the preschool doors once again.
She had already made it to the doors and I called her back.
I couldn't stand to see that sweet picture in my mind exit through the school doors...not today.
She looked so sweet, innocent and excited for the days possibilities and I wanted it in my mind forever.
I jumped out of my six passenger suburban
*the kind I have driven since I was 16*
barefoot, bra-less, makeup-less, and called her back.
She seemed a bit confused, but I insisted.
"Bug, come back so I can take your picture!"
(in front of a long line of dressed and ready moms)
She looked at me kinda weird and walked back. She knows me better than to ask why. Because, that's why...that's always my answer when I pull out the iPhone for a picture.
It's a waste of time to ask...it just makes mom happy.
It makes me happy because time is precious, this is why I love to blog. I don't want to forget my journey, my kids journey.
It is our story.
After she pulled her cheesy face just for me, she turned to run away. RUN, for the doors...not walk, run. She didn't want to waste one more valuable second of whatever activity and snack lay behind those doors.
I remember the magic of school clearly
and my first kiss from kissing tag.
As we get older, it looses some of it's excitement and we dream of doing something else...
anything else. The funny part is, when it is over...it's over and we can't go back just like
anything else in life. That is exactly why I try to enjoy the moment while I am there and then
record it to look back on.
My grandpa *my hero* always spoke of this when he was alive...He would sit me down on his lap and say,
"Never wish away time, it goes fast enough on it's own."
How right he was.
Thanks Grandpa for teaching me an important lesson so early in life.
I am so very glad I listened. I decided early on that I would
enjoy the journey...not wish away
I never thought I would be where I am today.
I couldn't have dreamed it in my wildest dreams *and I have pretty crazy dreams*
I am so blessed, blessed beyond belief. Sometimes I feel guilty and other times so humble...
almost scared I won't do enough everyday to show my thanks. I am weak, I am human. Sometimes I complain and spend too much time worrying about myself...
and then I look around.
There is always someone to help that is having a harder day then myself. I truly believe
this is how our Heavenly Father brings miracles into our lives, it's through he hands of
people around us.
Are we spending more time waiting for blessings to land on our laps, or taking the time to help fulfill blessings that need to come through us, to others?
I try to ask myself this question often.
Oh...and all these clocks I have shown you...
They are all clocks in my house.
They are ALL THE WRONG TIME.
In fact, they sit there on the wrong time ALL THE TIME.
I have asked myself the same question before. I walk passed all these clocks daily and don't change the batteries. At first I worried about my organization which isn't always up to par...
and then I realized I was doing it on purpose. I have had a million chances to change the
batteries and even held the batteries in my hand and changed my mind.
After a bit of reflection, I realized that I like the feeling of being lost in time. My home is a place to enjoy family and relax...clocks somehow stress me out.
Don't get me wrong, I have my clocks that I look at to keep on schedule, I have no choice, I do live in reality. My phone is a constant reminder, and the microwave, oven, and bedside alarm clock keep me on time...
The these clocks, they are
above my bath
by the fireplace
downstairs in the movie room
and in my laundry room
All places, I'd rather relax and focus on what I'm doing.
I guess I put them there for decoration, after all clocks are pretty good looking.
What is my point you ask...?
I would ask you to take my Grandpa's advice and avoid wishing away time.
Believe me, there are days that I just want to end and when really hard things happen,
I want out.
Life will take care of it on it's own.
The sun sets, and rises again.
This picture below...kind of funny.
I took this about three weeks ago, a few days before we adopted our little boy. Baby number SEVEN. I didn't dream THAT in my wildest dreams, yet here we are.
People that tell you adoption is easy, are wrong.
It is a challenge just like anything else in life. We are bonding just like a newborn and mother. We stare into each others eyes when he falls asleep or cries. I am grateful I have learned
patience from all the other children because I look at Handsome with different eyes that I
would have six children back.
I know that he is young and struggling just like all the other kids, testing boundaries.
I know that we are in this for the long haul when he cries or whines because he is sick and
I am *almost* totally unaffected when he throws his little fits, because I know how fast time
goes. I know that I will one day *all too soon* look back on this time in my life and want to call it back,
just like I did with Bug today.