If I had to pick one person who is my hero, it would be my Grandpa Gourley.
Today is the 12th year exactly of my Grandpa's death. I have to say the time has flown by with a speed that is incomprehensible to me. It is a weird phenomena that I feel like the same person I have always been, but the world keeps spinning around me at such a rapid pace. My kids keep getting older and older. By the time I figure out one age, they move onto the next!
I love all of my children very much. They are all so different and so special. My Grandpa had an amazing quality of finding the best in people and focusing on that aspect of their personality. True Christ like love. He always spent so much time making people feel welcome and valued. He never came across as too good for anyone. He always looked for the good in people and praised them for it. If I can emulate these qualities in life, I will feel successful. There are so many goals I have set for myself, but this is my number one. My grandpa was like glue. Glue that bound everyone he knew together. It feels so different not having him there at our Gourley party. His big booming voice greeting people as they came, his big eyes as he handed out the presents under the tree, and his quiet talks that nobody heard but you.
He was a very wise man. Some of the advice that he gave me that stands out in my mind is to never wish time away, it goes fast enough on it's own. Another talk I had before going to college he was explaining that there were two kinds of people, people that pay interest and people that earn interest. Of course this was going way over my head at the time, but has stuck with me into adulthood. Another poignant thing he said to me was when I told him I was pregnant for the first time. I hadn't finished college. I felt like I had let him down. He said that my education would continue, just in a different way. This gave me the courage to move on and to value the lessons I would learn, just as much as a college course. Most of the important lessons I learned from him were not spoken. I learned more from watching him than anything. He worked tirelessly. Up until the day he died, he did everything he could to finish projects around the house.
He was never one to wish for death, or to sit in a chair all day and watch T.V. Sure he liked the television, but he was in balance. I used to love crawling up on the bed with him and watch him peel oranges for me. The smell of an orange still reminds me of him today. Lilacs are also a smell that bring back memories of Grandpa. He used to always have them growing outside of his house. He used to love to feed everyone he came in contact with. He would feed us until we were so stuffed we couldn't move. Pancakes, beans, fresh garden tomatoes, and if we were really lucky Kentucky Fried Chicken. One of my favorite memories with Grandpa is visiting the cabin in Fairview, Utah. He always had projects he was working on but always included the grand kids on the fun! I would have to say that my favorite was burning the pasture! Grandpa was a definite pyro! He would get a crazy look in his eyes as the fire grew bigger and bigger! I remember wondering as a child if this could really be safe, but then again he was Mr. Safety so it couldn't have been too dangerous!
I think because he was raised in the Great Depression he appreciated all he had and saved everything. He saved for years to pay for a portion of every grandchild's college education. Even though I didn't finish I will be eternally grateful for the lessons I learned while I attended. It wasn't uncommon to find things around the house that he had saved for years. It was actually one of my favorite passed times growing up. We would go into the back bedroom and open the drawers where he kept his unopened clothing. They were all brand new, but still way out of date! He didn't waste anything. He always picked up pennies whenever he saw them. I still do the same in remembrance and respect for him.
He saved hard earned money to take all of his kids and grand kids on road trips. He took us by plane and train to Disney Land, and rented charter buses and took us to several landmarks across the United States! We also visited Lake Powell even though he couldn't swim. He wanted to go for the family. One morning he went for his daily walk. He came back with a dead rattle snake on a stick! He was so proud and all of the grand kids cheered for their brave Grandpa! He loved taking the trips. We would plan all year what route we would take to maximize our trip. He loved to learn and to share that love with us. I learned more on those trips than I probably ever did in school!
At the end of the day I would get to sleep in his room with Grandma and Angie. He would revisit the highlights of the day with a huge smile on his face. He talked with love for each of the grand kids and their reactions to what they saw and learned that day. I would see him get frustrated with his health sometimes, that is couldn't keep up with his energy. When he would finally lay down to fall asleep Angie and I would wait a total of maybe 10 minutes before the overwhelming sound of snoring filled the air! We would laugh so hard that the bed would shake and our sides hurt. We regularly climbed out of bed to sneak over and see who was snoring louder...Grandpa or Grandma! Grandma always won, hands down! Off to the bathroom we ran to laugh ourselves silly. After we finally calmed down we would go to bed. Bright and early in the morning guess who would be singing at the top of his lungs to get us up? Of course, the one that kept us awake. Grandpa would make a comment about us giggling and keeping him up! I guess we laughed so hard we woke him up,
but I think he enjoyed it.
He was a great father. I know this because of the father he raised for me. I am so blessed to have a dad that I respect and love more than anything. It is true that traditions pass down from generation to generation. Lucky for me, the traditions of my ancestors have been good. My Grandpa loved my Grandma very much. She was always loyal and stood by his side through thick and thin. She has a great sense of humor and is so alive for someone her age, I love it. She loves to play the wii! She boxes for fun! She also is an avid reader. I can call her at 1:30 a.m. and never worry if I will wake her! She is a night owl and is always up for a puzzle. She knows EVERY ONE'S name, and is an ace at remembering birthdays! I did not get this talent from her! I was talking to her tonight at the party. I was explaining how parenting can be so frustrating, and she gave me the simple advice to "Go with the flow". It seems so easy, but there is a lot packed into the little phrase! Honestly we can't control what our kids decide to do anyway, so it is the only way to truly be happy when all is crazy. We can teach our kids and try to guide and direct them, but ultimately they have to want it for themselves. I know I will remember my Grandma's advice when I have several teenagers at a time!
Life is too short to be mad all of the time.
I truly believe that we are here to enjoy life and make the best of it we can.
I feel so blessed to have beautiful children and an amazing husband. What more could I ask for. I guess the only other thing I would ask for is that we always stay close through it all. That we are not just family, but best friends also. My Grandpa loved Jon because he is a hard worker and he could see how much he loved Sydney before we were married. Jon actually reminds me of him sometimes. They both have the same booming voice and love to provide fun for everyone (safely). I didn't make the connection until we were married for about 10 years! I walked into the bathroom when he was getting ready. He said, "Well hello there!" in his voice. It took me straight back to the time Grandpa used the exact voice and phrase! I know he is watching over my family and must be getting a few giggles of his own!
Thank you Grandpa Gourley for everything you taught me. Thank you for always being there for me, even now when I have to listen for you rather than see you. Thank you for being the glue that will hold our future generations together.
Thank you for being my friend and my hero.
